Friday's Rain Day

I just wanted to say THANK YOU to the people who left me comments yesterday. It was really awesome to see that. Andrew: you're not forgotten, I think it's just that we never tried to make the time. If you're ever bored, message me and we'll hang out, sound good?

Now onto my thoughts.

4am came much quicker than I expected. Nanuq had me up around 2:30 as he needed to go outside, and then again at 4. I honestly thought it had been about 20 minutes since he last woke me up, and was surprised to find that 1.5 hours had passed. I think this is just proving to me that I need to get more sleep, but I am finding it difficult to do so. Here is why.

If I go to bed early (10:30) then Nanuq wakes up starting around 12:30 to go outside. If I go to bed at 12:30, he wakes up starting at 2-3. Then when close to 5 hits, he is as excited as a kid on his first trip to DisneyWorld as I think he knows the sun is coming, and with the sun comes playtime, food time, and run around and harrass the kitties time.

So how do I get him to wake up later? It's not so bad on weekdays if he could just sleep straight until 6 or 6:30am, I would be ok with that, but when he has me up every few hours I find it difficult to be not grumpy in the mornings. On weekends ideally I'd like him to sleep in till 8am. I've read a few articles on this, and like a baby, there really isn't much you can do except wait until they are older. I am just afraid that he will get into the habit that 5am is wake-up De time, and that I will never get a full night of sleep again!

More in the animal world, I am glad that this week is finally over. Nanuq has been taking medication for his Giardia (commom parasite found in puppies) and Ree has been on medication for the claw that grew into her paw. I don't mind giving the meds to my furry friends, but it will be nice when we're back to normal. Ree has been so doped up on these meds that she has been grouchier than I have ever seen her. She even was trying to bite me this morning! Poor girl, at least her paw is looking better. What scared me last week when I took her into the vet was that I was told she has to move onto Senior food now (her and Jazzy) SENIOR! Yikes! I don't think of them as old cats, and when I think of that, it makes me sad. I lost Sabby just over a year ago, and it still hurts. I miss her everyday - she was truly the best cat, and one of the best friends I've ever had.

Adam, you made a comment yesterday about friends not having direction in their lives - and this had me thinking. I'm not sure what is worse, having direction and not being able to do anything, or not having direction and just living a truly happy life. Sometimes people don't need direction to be truly happy, they are just content with what they have. For me, I am not. I am constantly striving for a better life, to make myself a better person, and to make sure I'm not wasting this life. There are so many things I have wanted to do in my life, and knowing that it will never happen does make me a little depressed.

When I was in high school I really wanted to do two things, become a radio broadcaster, preferably doing interviews and whatnot with bands and people. Music has always been a huge part of my life, and I have always had an interest in journalism, so it seemed to go hand in hand. What was holding me back? Damn it.. money. The root of all evil. Secondly, I wanted to (and still do) want to study photography. I really enjoy it as a pastime, and as a way to express that inner artist - they one who has never really been good at any of the arts she has tried. As I get older, I realize that I can just take photography classes and they will give me the knowledge that I covet, but will I ever be in a place where I can use those skills to ultimately do what I want? Travel and photograph the world? I guess only time will tell.

Then there is always the idea of starting my own bar/restaurant. I had a "partner in crime" but that person no longer seems interested in me - or anything relating to me, so will this idea ever become reality? It's hard to tell.

So what will I do with my life? Am I destined to sit behind a desk making minimal money and being bored every day, or am I destined for bigger and better things? Could I achieve any of my goals? Travel writing/photography, the bar, or maybe just the smaller goals, helping abandoned animals, or restudying French?

I don't know if it will ever happen, but I truly hope so. Is it ok to daydream about these ideas become reality, or is it just going to further enhance the negative feelings I already have?

*disclaimer: I didn't proof read this. Please ignore any and all spelling errors and grammer mistakes! Thanks!